An Ode to My Dad on Valentine's Day
I realize it’s Valentine’s Day, and passionate love is usually celebrated on this day, but my wife knows I’m crazy about her, so I decided to write about a wedding decision I made out of love for someone I’ve always held in high esteem, and how seriously I wanted to take my marriage, because being fully and seriously committed is the greatest gift of love I could give to another person.
I really thought long and hard about who I would ask to be my best man. Days and weeks passed. Then finally, after a couple of months, my choice became as clear as water flowing from the Alps. My choice kept returning to me from Day One: My dad. The one question on my mind was, is it weird to ask your dad to be your best man? I couldn’t decide. So, I asked my bride-to-be. Her response was, “Sure. Why not?”
My decision would come with some questions, such as: What would my brother think? Would my brother wonder why didn’t I choose him? What about my closest friends, how would they feel? Would my dad think it’s strange that I chose him? And, will Dad feel obligated to fulfill the tradition of throwing me a bachelor party?
My choice came from knowing my dad for who he is. Essentially, he is a simple man like me. In having my dad as my best man, I knew there would be no raging, risqué parties in my honor; no peer pressure to have a last hurrah as a single man; no hangovers to survive due to a sophomoric stag type of party. Nope, none of those concerns would have to be part of my celebration having my dad as my right hand man.
I chose my dad out of honor, respect, and gratitude. I knew I wanted that mature energy by my side, as I made a very serious, holy, and eternal commitment to another person. Having my dad as my best man fulfilled my every expectation for such a solemn event in my life.
For those that are considering their fathers as their best man, understand that you may offend siblings, brothers, and long time best friends. However, ask yourself, how important do you want to take your marriage? Do you want your best man leading you into doom, as you recklessly celebrate your last days of singlehood, acting irresponsibly, having the sixth shot of booze, knowing what is most likely to happen the next day during your wedding?
Obviously, the scenario could play out in so many ways. For me, having my dad as my best man was the perfect recipe for the wedding celebration I’ve always dreamed of. I was marrying a woman I profoundly love, and my dad, as my best man, honored and respected that and helped keep what was important in perspective.
Credits: Photos by Tony Florez; Tuxedos by Ralph Lauren